Transitions

I have consolidated this blog to my new Mindful Clarity blog. Please join me there.
http://mindfulclarity.blogspot.com/

There is no try. Do or do not.

I take issue with Yoda here in the absoluteness of this statement. In the context of kindness, ANY effort is better than none. And there is a balance between quality and quantity- sometimes small efforts over time are better than one big shabang. Sometimes nothing but the best will do because you only get one shot. 


I am trying my best to be kind whenever I can. I am conscious of the Daily Altruist sticker on my bumper and allow people to merge, and try to be an intelligent and kind driver on the road. I think about how I would feel if a reporter popped up and said, "SO, Daily Altruist, is THAT how you REALLY behave?"  I want to walk the talk, be kind to change the world. But it is an acknowledgment of my humanity to confirm that there are days when I am distracted and not thinking about anything (other than the fact that my husband has recently inexplicably switched to decaf coffee.)  There are times when I do in fact do something unkind, or stupid, something that inconveniences someone else, or hurts someone's feelings. I am not perfect- that's why this is the PRACTICING kindness blog. My "Do" is to Practice.


Last week was teacher appreciation week at my daughters' preschool. And let me tell you, I appreciate the HECK out of them. Shout out to Ms Sarah, Ms Claudia and Ms Rachel for taking such wonderful, amazing care of my girls, and for dealing so graciously with their 2 and 4 year old foibles. Especially re: poop and Momo.  


But I had a major moment of insecurity last week. On Monday I was reminded that it was Teacher Appreciation Week. There was a note requesting "no sweets" on the bulletin board. OK, so no cookies. On Monday night, I sat down with my girls, who picked out beads for me to make into a simple bracelet for each teacher, with their name. I thought they were sweet and the girls "helped" so it was a mutual effort. We took them in with a flower for each teacher on Tuesday.


On Thursday I took the girls in to school and noticed a gift for each of the 2 teachers in my 2 year old's classroom.  Each gift consisted of 4 gift cards, totaling $125. Each. Ouch. I have to admit, if I were the teacher, $125 worth of gift cards would make MY day moreso than a bracelet- simple economics of a preschool teacher's budget. However, it made me cringe and feel guilt. 


I wish I didn't still feel inadequate. I want her teachers to know that we appreciate them. I want them to know how much I care about them as people, in addition to their roles as teachers. So how do I share this with them, without breaking the bank? 


Daily practice.  This is where the frequency comes in as the alternative to the big shabang. Every day I look them in the eye when I pick up the girls and ask them authentically how the day was. I try to spend 2 minutes chatting to get to know them as people. If they need something, I try to help. If the school asks for volunteers, I will try to be there. Is this enough to outweigh the fabulous dinner they will have at Roy's?  Maybe, maybe not. But it's what I have to give. And it's my practice- authentic kindness in MY way, not someone else's.


So much of life is a competition- practicing kindness should not be.  DO Practice. 

Join the Gang

I ride a motorcycle. Or, more truthfully, I used to ride a motorcycle- before I had kids. I loved the freedom, the wind, the way the road looks totally different from the seat of a cruiser. But most of all, I loved the camaraderie. I joined an all-brand motocycle club when I first began riding and, along with my parents, each on their own cruisers, went on 100- mile weekend rides. I felt like I was part of a "gang".  Not the scary gang. But the one that created the rider mentality that connected each of us, no matter our stations in life.  Engineers, car mechanics, janitors, orthodontists, small business owners, yes, even lawyers.

Something awesome I learned when I started riding is that motorcyclists wave to each other. Not big wavy-waves (those aren't so good for balance).  But little hand gestures- a raised finger, a peace sign, a small salute. It was like an secret handshake, delivered as I passed by a fellow rider. It says, "we are connected, you and I, no matter what our individual circumstances."  It was an amazing feeling-knowing that if I got stuck on the side of the road with my bike down, I would not be there alone for long. I trusted that other bikers would look out for me and someone would stop to help.

Even during an accidental trip in the snow, I exchanged waves with a Vago (one of the more scary-type gang-members). It was an acknowledgement, of sorts. "You're crazy to be out in this, and so am I."

This feeling of connection is one I want everyone to know, and is what I hope to create with the Daily Altruist. A sense of belonging to the "gang"- we are in this together, you and I. And I salute you for the simple joy of connection.

Join the Gang.

Kindness is not just a "nice to have..."

...it's absolutely necessary.  

thanks jannoon028!

The Dalai Lama visited San Diego this week and aside from some traffic headaches, he brought his message of peace and compassion. This seems to be a most excellent time to launch the Daily Altruist.


The Dalai Lama asked, "What is the meaning of peace? Is it the absence of trouble or violence?"   His answer, "Going deeper into peace...genuine peace must come through inner peace, not through fear."  He continued, "the key thing", is a "warm heart of concern for others' well being."


This is the point of it all. Shared connection, a society built upon a foundation of care for each other. What would be possible if we each knew that others really CARED about our well-being? What would our political discourse be like? How would our workplaces be? How would driving on the freeways be different? 


I believe it can be different, MUST be better. Not an abdication of individual responsibility for self, nor a license to free-load. But a societal shift towards kindness and compassion. 
It starts one heart at a time. Try it on your heart and see how your possibility shifts. 

A daily infusion of kindness....

All ideas and successes welcome here! 
As long as they are about kindness and being nice.
Warmth and fuzzies.
Making someone feel good.
Lightening someone's load or day.
Sharing appreciation of someone who made YOUR day a little better.
For example, I have committed to waving thank you to every car that let's me merge in on the freeway.  Every day. So if you see a mom in a silver RAV4 waving thanks, that's me.  I think I'll start the peace sign today instead of the wave.